What Thorn Have You Been Given?

I was waiting for Mass to begin and thought of St Rita, in whose honor the Mass and novena were being held.  I wondered what her reaction was to the wound inflicted on her forehead on Good Friday. Did knowing that this wound came directly from Our Lord make it any easier to bear?  I delude myself at times with the notion that if I knew my sufferings came directly from God I might more happily bear them. Yeah, right. Of course they come from God! 

In this life, the gifts we are sent emerge solely from the Passion of Christ.  He will gladly spare a thorn from the brutal crown forced upon His sacred head. We may not bear it physically or if we do, it's not obvious to anyone else.  The crown of His glory cannot be shared in this lifetime and cannot be earned if the instrument of suffering is rejected.  

I have at times offered to trade in my thorns for ones I think I would rather endure.  This is, of course, playing the coward.  God knows best and does not engage in conditional plea bargaining. ( If You give me this, I will gladly do that).  

At some point after realizing that Jesus answered her prayer to allow her a share in His suffering, St Rita further understood what this remarkable gift entailed.  The pain, infection, and unpleasant odor that accompanied her stigmata often left the saint spurned by others in her community. When the congregation planned to go on a pilgrimage, Rita was told she could not come along because of the wound. Tradition holds that the sore miraculously healed so that she could make the journey and that upon returning to Cascia it appeared again.  This lead to uncharitable speculation on the point of some that her wound was self-inflicted. But Rita was consumed with love for Christ Crucified and concerned solely with comforting Him however she could. If gossip, lack of charity and perhaps even jealousy wounded her, she did not let on. 

Very few are chosen to bear the physical signs of His Passion but whether we realize it or not, He constantly offers us the intangible ones. Humiliation, mortification, rejection, loneliness and betrayal were no strangers to Our Lord. Will we accept them as precious gifts or throw them away?   The former cannot happen without His help. 

My prayer to St Rita for myself is that God continues to supply the help needed to accept His graces.  Be assured I am praying to her for all of our children, that He will grant them the graces necessary for salvation. 

Still Here, Still Praying

Sorry for the dearth of posts but sometimes I'm just not moved to say anything, so I don't.  Please know that I continue to keep all of your intentions in my heart and before the Lord every day at Mass and Adoration.  I'm also very busy getting ready for the prom, the wedding and the impending job search of my youngest, my oldest and my middle child, in that order.

I had a very lovely but busy Mother's Day.  I hosted dinner this year because my father will never agree to going out to dinner and I didn't want my mother saddled with cooking. I did all of the preparation Sunday evening so I could just pop things in the oven, but I still wound up spending the entire afternoon in the kitchen.  Before that,   I went for a long walk in the morning, had a delicious breakfast courtesy of my husband  and then off to the Noon TLM.  The Saturday evening before we attended the Novus Ordo as a family (well, four of the five of us did) and took part in the annual parish May devotion to Mary.

By the time I got to Mass yesterday, I was already feeling kind of beat and I'm sure this contributed to the  sadness that struck me as I communicated with Jesus.  It is my habit to conceal my face in my hands with my eyes closed so I can drown out every distraction, and so it was yesterday.  I was thinking of how Easter would soon be over, and how ironic it is that as the Church enters Ordinary Time, the Archdiocese begins announcing clerical changes.  I started thinking of the implications those changes could hold for our parish, but how our focus must always be on Christ.  I was thinking of how the oldest is soon to marry, outside of the Church, and wondering what more I could or should have done.  I can't think of ever feeling so overcome at Holy Communion, and being somewhat lost in my own emotions, I hardly noticed what happened.  I felt someone slip their arm around my waist and pull me gently towards them for just a moment.
Someone obviously knew I needed a hug.  I did, and I'm very grateful to whatever person or benevolent being saw fit to give me one.

The novena to St. Rita began today. In addition to my own personal intentions,  I am asking her to intercede on behalf of the boy who went missing in Florida and for a cousin who is awaiting test results for a brain tumor.  (I don't know what's going on but it seems like every time I turn around someone else is battling a brain tumor).  For the first time in a few months, I was too tired to get up to go to my usual early morning Mass, so I went a little later at another parish.  It is my intention to try to get to at least the novena prayers each day if not a second Mass. ( I will only receive Holy Communion once, however, and make a spiritual Communion if I go to two Masses.)

I am growing increasingly fond of my future son-in-law, who shows a greater interest in Catholicism than his future wife does.  He is respectful and asks some very thoughtful questions.  We spent about an hour after dinner yesterday discussing the sanctity of life and Catholicism in general and I can tell from previous conversations that he will give what we spoke about much consideration.  In getting through to him, I will get through to my daughter, who I love very much and will not surrender to life outside the Church without great effort.

During the novena, we pray to St. Rita:

"By the surrender of your children, rather than have them offend God, obtain our request for us".

I know this wife, mother and Augustinian nun will hear my prayers, as well as yours.