Well, Lord, here I am again. In the end, all I really have is You. I know it is necessary for me to live in the world and sometimes take part in things that hold no value in the spiritual life. You alone know how difficult it has been for me this past week as my oldest and cherished daughter married outside Your Church. I love her and I really love the man she has chosen to spend her life with but my heart is troubled that she has cast You aside. Lord, I also know that while You never stop knocking, You are not one to barge through a door uninvited. So I have taken my lead from You - never insisting, never forcing my will but simply and gently reminding that You are always there, waiting.
I attended the wedding Lord, and when a rainbow suddenly appeared in the sky above the garden where it took place, I wondered if You weren't sending me a sign to say: "It's OK. I understand and will wait for both of them." It hadn't rained Lord and I have never seen a rainbow that wasn't preceded by a storm but I thank You just the same. You know that I never felt further away from You than I did this week, even though I know You are always there, waiting.
And even though Your Most Holy Name was not mentioned or acknowledged even once during all of the speeches, toasts, etc, I know that You shed Your light and Your protection upon us all, bringing us safely through. I know that even if it seems You have been forgotten, You will not forget and will continue to bless my child and her new husband. I know You were happy to see them both when, at the last minute, they decided to attend the Mass that was said for their intention this past week. I put it in Your capable hands to light a spark that leads them to You. May my prayers be the fan that fuel the flame once it's lit.
I thank You Lord, for the blessing of seeing my child so happy and with such a patient, kind and loving young man. But You know this week has been difficult for other reasons. I do not know what the future holds in our parish but I do know that whatever it is, You are always there, waiting and it is never about the priest, my God but only You. Sometimes, we get caught up in the cult of clerical personality. This is a dangerous thing and not what You desire for the priesthood, but it happens. I will wait and give the new pastor my prayerful support. Please grant me the strength and the patience to prayerfully endure whatever the future holds, for Your sake and the sake of Your Holy Church.
Well, Lord, there are tasks to be done and people waiting to see me. Eternity would not be long enough to thank You for the many blessings You have bestowed upon my family. Lord, please bestow one more - keep knocking at the door of their hearts until they open them to You.