Saturday, June 1, 2013

Prayer Before the Tabernacle: Always There, Waiting

Well, Lord, here I am again.  In the end, all I really have is You.  I know it is necessary for me to live in the world and sometimes take part in things that hold no value in the spiritual life.  You alone know how difficult it has been for me this past week as my oldest and cherished daughter married outside Your Church.  I love her and I really love the man she has chosen to spend her life with but my heart is troubled that she has cast You aside.  Lord, I also know that while You never stop knocking, You are not one to barge through a door uninvited.  So I have taken my lead from You - never insisting, never forcing my will but simply and gently reminding that You are always there, waiting. 

I attended the wedding Lord, and when a rainbow suddenly appeared in the sky above the garden where it took place, I wondered if You weren't sending me a sign to say: "It's OK.  I understand and will wait for both of them."  It hadn't rained Lord and I have never seen a rainbow that wasn't preceded by a storm but I thank You just the same.  You know that I never felt further away from You than I did this week, even though I know You are always there, waiting. 

And even though Your Most Holy Name was not mentioned or acknowledged even once during all of the speeches, toasts, etc, I know that You shed Your light and Your protection upon us all, bringing us safely through.  I know that even if it seems You have been forgotten, You will not forget and will continue to bless my child and her new husband.  I know You were happy to see them both when, at the last minute, they decided to attend the Mass that was said for their intention this past week.  I put it in Your capable hands to light a spark that leads them to You.  May my prayers be the fan that fuel the flame once it's lit.

I thank You Lord, for the blessing of seeing my child so happy and with such a patient, kind and loving young man.  But You know this week has been difficult for other reasons.  I do not know what the future holds in our parish but I do know that whatever it is, You are always there, waiting and it is never about the priest,  my God but only You.  Sometimes, we get caught up in the cult of clerical personality.  This is a dangerous thing and not what You desire for the priesthood, but it happens.  I will wait and give the new pastor my prayerful support.  Please grant me the strength and the patience to prayerfully endure whatever the future holds, for Your sake and the sake of Your Holy Church.

Well, Lord, there are tasks to be done and people waiting to see me.  Eternity would not be long enough to thank You for the many blessings You have bestowed upon my family.  Lord, please bestow one more - keep knocking at the door of their hearts until they open them to You.

10 comments:

  1. I assume congratulations are still in order. I wish your daughter and her new husband the best. And I will say a special prayer for the three of you this week. Many young people come around as they get into mid life. I certainly can attest to that. Children and aging parents brings God front and center into life. Right now they have so many voices and things going on. Unless one is truely called to a religious life, it's nearly impossible for young people today to be moved by God's whisper. God's voice is a whisper and the rest of the world is a scream. If they will truely turn away from God, that decision will probably happen in their thirties and forties. And even then there is always hope. There is always hope. Let's pray.

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  2. Thank you Manny, you are so right about the difficulty in being able to hear God in this world today. I have hope. I am exhausted from this weekend's events but perhaps I'll have more observations to share a little later in the week.
    God bless
    Joyce

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  3. Congratulations, Joyce! You have gained a family member, and, as you stated, God has not given up on them. I know I said it before, but it helps to remember in my own life, it took me many years to come back to Him. And how my daughter's marrying was a good influence on her life. Your son-in-law sounds like a great guy! Seems like a step in the right direction! Many would not have even bothered to get married. And wonderful that they went to the mass!

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  4. Thanks Kelly. Although it was not what I would have chosen for them, it is very apparent how much they love one another and how much they are loved by their family and friends. They also paid tribute to a friend of theirs who had passed away two summers ago and it was very moving. My daughter never once turned into Bridezilla, which was also a good thing. Now, as I have been advised to do by a priest, I will simply pray for them both to realize how much God loves them and longs for them.
    Peace
    Joyce

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  5. Joyce, congratulations on your daughter marrying someone she loves, and you love as well. I remember in another post how you wrote about talking in-depth with him, and how much you like him. That's such a gift. I know it hurts about them marrying outside of the church. One thing that helps me is remembering how I was in my teens and early twenties. God was hardly on my radar, and although most of us followed tradition then, and married at the expected Nuptial Mass, I certainly wasn't worthy at the time.

    God managed to get us back into the fold, didn't He? I know he'll do the same for our children. I can see my son and daughter-in-law slowly coming along. Like Manny mentioned, having children will probably make a huge difference for our kids.

    I'm hanging in there with you, and let's just keep the prayers going. Therese won't let us down :) Love and hugs, mother-in-law :)

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  6. Thanks Patricia. Interesting enough when I spoke to a priest about this he said the same thing - that having children might be bound to soften her heart. All I can do is pray and yes, I know Therese won't let us down. I'm sorry I haven't been over to your blog in a few days but I plan to catch up soon. I took a bad spill running the other day and my left hand is better but still giving me fits. Your special intention remains in my prayers :)
    Love you
    Joyce

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  7. Joyce, Congratulations to your daughter and son in law.. What a blessing that you love him. That's a gift in itself, though I empathize with the pain in seeing them marry outside the church. You're an example of loving patience to me as this will be my experience in December as well.
    Patricia is so right...to think of where I was as a teen and then...being gone from the church for 20 years! It breaks me to think of how much it must have pained my mom, but I'm home, now.

    I've not been online much, but you and the ladies are always in my prayers.

    Blessings always and +

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  8. Caroline,
    Sorry for the delayed response. Gremlins continue to assault my computer (despite installation of a new Norton anti-virus program that was supposed to speed it up) so I can't always respond, write, etc, as I wish.

    There are some Catholics who do not believe I should have attended but I don't know what that would have accomplished other than drive a wedge between me and the rest of my family and cement for some folks that we Catholics are a crazy lot. If there's any hope of the couple (and they clearly love each other so much) coming around, my boycotting their wedding wasn't going to do it.

    And yes Patricia is right. At least my daughter isn't hostile toward the Church. I can think of a time when I was, and look where I am now? Not where I need to be but on my way and a lot closer than I was 20 years ago!

    You, too, are always in my prayers.
    Love and hugs
    Joyce

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  9. So beautiful. I join you in prayer.

    Also, Micheal contacted me about Fr. Carey. So sorry to hear he was moved. I relayed to Michael that Fr. Ronald Check of Philadelphia often says the Latin Mass for us and told us that there are more priests in your area trained to say the TLM than actual TLMs. Perhaps he can help you?

    God bless!!

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  10. Thank you Allison.

    I really don't know what's going on with the Archdiocese of Philadelphia concerning the TLM. Fr. Check is exactly the kind of priest I wish we were getting but we're not. Fr. Carbonaro of Our Lady of Consolation was also moved, so now there are two TLM parishes without a TLM priest. It boggles the mind.
    Keep praying!
    Joyce

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