Grateful for a Good Confession and Other Joys of Being Catholic

Although I have the benefit of two daily Masses at my workplace, confessions are not offered to employees. Oh, I'm sure I could speak to the priest after Mass and make arrangements to have my confession heard, but with the large number of patients the priest has to see on a daily basis, I don't want to take up his valuable time for my convenience.  It's a good lesson in patience for me to have to wait until Saturday to be able to get to confession.

Today I was fortunate to have a priest who did more than listen, absolve and send me on my way.  He knew that I was bothered at having to confess something that I find particularly difficult to overcome.  Progress has been made, for sure, but I'm still in search of a cure.  I am very grateful to this priest for not simply glossing over my sins but for taking the time to talk things over, discuss any extenuating circumstances and offer some encouraging words.  Unfortunately, it's clear I'm still have some bouts with scrupulosity, but that, too, is improving.

In the post I put up yesterday about ex-communication, the canon lawyer who wrote the piece noted that excommunication is not meant to be punitive, but medicinal.  The same can and should be said for confession.
I have to say that I never felt lighter and more relieved than I did after receiving this sacrament today.

I wish more people availed themselves of this sacrament.  I know there are people who believe their sins are a matter between themselves and God.  They are, and that's why He provides the priest, acting in His place, to listen, counsel and dispense absolution.

For His Infinite Mercy, is that too much  to ask?

Something strange has happened since I started my new job. I'm actually quite happy at work.  I don't have an office, a computer or a phone yet due to a combination of on-going construction and summer vacations, but I am managing quite nicely.  Something else strange is happening.  For the first time in a very long time, I'm in a workplace where I don't feel like I have to search  for the Presence of God.  He is everywhere I look, in more ways than one.

Aside from the chapel and the statues of the saints and the sisters and the crucifixes, there are the people who genuinely take their mission to serve in the name of Christ to heart.  If a person is so unfortunate as to need to be in the hospital, they couldn't ask for a more pleasant and healing environment.

The other refreshing change is that we can open each meeting with a prayer, and we can have crucifixes and other sacramentals prominently displayed in our offices.  As soon as my new office is ready (I'm told as early as this week), I have a brand-new crucifix with a beautiful depiction of the suffering Christ, a statue of St. Therese and a beautiful triptych of St. Teresa of Avila to display.  We are also looking to rename one of our centers, and I have my boss considering making St. Raphael our patron saint. Of course, this is not simply up to us, but she is in a position to put this idea forward with the higher-ups.  We'll see.

God blessed us in another way today.  My husband's car, a marvel on snow and ice, died of natural causes a month or so ago.  He's managed by borrowing our daughter's car during the week when she doesn't need it, but I was worried I'd have to find another car for myself, an all-wheel drive for the winter days ahead when snow and ice take the place of the heat and the humidity.  We stumbled across a nice little Toyota 4WD today that will be perfect for him to transport his painting equipment and perfect for me in the winter weather. So I don't have to go out and find a new ride, which is especially good news since I'm only a few months away from paying my car off.  In exchange for driving him to the dealership and helping him with the haggling to get the price down, I have earned the right to drive it when I need it.

Now, if the Phils can just put the Nationals away tonight, it will be a fitting end to a beautiful day.

God is good.

The Goodness of the Lord

My sister's wedding rehearsal dinner was scheduled for tonight, which left me with a lump in my throat knowing I would not be able to get to the Visitation Monastery for Mass on the Feast of the Sacred Heart.  I was fortunate to get to early morning Mass, but I wanted to do more.  Once our schedule finished up, I left work and went to a church which has confessions Wednesday thru Saturday and adoration 6 days a week.  (Every day but Sunday, go figure).

The priest I had is one who struggles with words.  Even when he reads, he forgets things and gets himself all mixed up.  I know it must be so humbling for him.  During  absolution, he forgot part of the words, and he was stammering and stuttering and after an uncomfortable lapse of time that felt like minutes ticking away,  I inadvertently prompted him.

"Thank you" he said and continued.  I wanted to say "you know, Father, if you read the words, it would be easier for you" but I didn't.

I had something on my conscience that I really wanted to confess.  It made me think of how great God is to us.  He takes this fumble-bumble of a priest and empowers him to act in His Name to forgive us our sins.  So even though I could remember the words to absolution better than this priest obviously does, and even though I wouldn't be caught dead ad libbing or saying the words from memory, none of it matters.  This man who listened to my confession is a priest of God, and no matter how badly he screws up, the Lord still acts through him to cleanse me of my sins.

Meanwhile, never second-guess the Lord.  A man who is normally at the 6:30 each morning has been battling cancer for years.  Yet every morning, he drags himself, sometimes literally, to Mass.  Every so often, he has some kind of relapse requiring hospitalization and I wonder to myself if this will be the end of him, and lo and behold, days or even a week or two later, he reappears.  I almost want to call him Lazarus.

A few months ago, he looked like he was on his last legs. I urged him to see his doctor and he told me he had an appointment for that afternoon.  The next morning when I didn't see him, I assumed he was back in the hospital.  Only this time, he was gone for weeks, and the weeks turned into months. One of the other regulars told me had to go into a skilled nursing facility.  Every weekend I had good intentions of taking a walk to see him, and one thing or another would come up and the chance would pass me by.  I actually got to the point where I would glance at the obits each day to see if his name popped up.

God has other ideas.

I looked up the other day, and there he was, looking decidedly thinner, paler and slower, but still able to walk to Mass.  I nearly said what I was thinking, which was: "My God, I thought you were going to die."

Still haven't learned not to second guess the Lord, still making a fool of myself.

This man does not want to die. I don't know when I've seen such a will to live.

God knows that, and He is so good.

God is so good to us.

Plenty of excuses, but no good reasons

A recent conversation with someone who doesn't practice their faith but will go to Holy Communion knowing they are not in a state of grace if they're at a wedding or funeral....

"I would only go to Communion if I were at a church were no one knows me because I think you are only making things worse with the hypocrisy."

"Let me get this straight: you'd receive Communion even though you haven't gone to confession so long as people don't know you're not in a state of grace?"

"Yes"

"Let me ask you this: would you ever take the Host and throw it in the gutter?"

"Of course not!"

"Well, that's what you do every time you receive Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin."

"Oh"

Get to confession. If you haven't been there in ages, ASK ME and I will refer you to a priest who will be happy to hear your confession and where you will not be yelled at, screamed at or thrown out of the confessional. By the same token, where do we get the notion that we're too good for a little chastisement? Our society thrives on hearing what it wants to hear, not what it needs to hear, and this is so true for many people who avoid confession but have no problem marching up to the altar to receive Jesus with clean hands and a filthy soul. C'mon people! At the heart of the reason why so many people have neglected their duties as Catholics is laziness and an over-developed self esteem. When people don't get it that they are not more important than their Creator, and the result is empty churches and more time spent in idolatry of false gods. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also! (St. Matthew, chapter 6)