Seeing Opportunities Where Others See Limits

Last night, The Boy asked me for two dollars and to sign a permission slip.  I was interested to see that his school was taking him on a college visit to West Chester University.  In junior year the students are divided into three "academies", one for technical skills, one for restaurant and hotel management and one for teaching.  I was amazed to learn that my son had been entered into the teaching category.  I have been looking into culinary schools for him for after he graduates from high school and here the dear boy has set his sights on becoming a teacher.

When he was first diagnosed on the autistic scale of disorders some years ago, the psychologist freely admitted that she hoped she would be proven wrong but she saw his ability to earn a decent living wage limited to busing tables or building salads in a restaurant.  Now he thinks he wants to go to Penn State.  There is a technical difficulty with this in that he has been resistant to sit for the SAT's because he is convinced he will fail, but we are trying to encourage him to give it a try anyway, because he really has nothing to lose. 

When I was in high school, I struggled mightily with algebra.  I would seek out the top students in the class to help me, and try as they might, they couldn't.  Sometimes when people are on a plane so far above us, they don't know how to relate things in simple terms.  One of the students, determined to help, suggested that I seek out one of the C students instead on the theory that our learning styles and abilities might be closer.  That student was a genius as far as I'm concerned because I instantly connected with my new tutor.  That's why I wouldn't entirely rule out the possibility of this kid of mine going to college and maybe even becoming a teacher.  Maybe he can work with young people who are in a boat similar to his.  The worst thing I could do is tell him he can't do something based on what a psychologist thought years ago.

The youngest has been asked to do another project for our pastor.  He found a series of videos that he'd like her to compile into one DVD so he can use it as a teaching tool for priests who'd like to learn how to offer the Extraordinary Form of the Mass.  She's already busied herself working on this.  I was thinking of how a few weeks ago, the cantor at another church pooh-poohed the TLM because women are not permitted to serve at the altar. Rebecca looked her straight in the eye and told her it didn't bother her one bit.   While it is true that women are not invited to join the altar crew, it's not true that they cannot serve.  There are many ways that a young lady can serve Our Lord and her parish without ever setting foot in the sacristy. I take a certain amount of pride in the knowledge that this little project might enable my young lady, in some small indirect way, to help a priest learn this beautiful expression of the liturgy.

Have a blessed and spiritually fruitful Friday and be on your guard against the Father of Lies.  In the words of Father Dennis, he's walking the streets. 

See you Saturday .

It's Come to This

Home salons may not offer you a robe like this one, but they're still a great option

This is probably a post only the women can relate to because it has to do with hair.  I would never knowingly go to a doctor who performed abortions in order to receive routine health care, and I've decided that nor should I knowingly patronize a hair stylist who makes no secret of his/her sex-same union.  Thinking I had found a wonderful new stylist, my heart sank into my stomach when, at my most recent visit,  the owner of the salon flaunted his newborn son for everyone to see.   Mind you, he mentioned more than once as he passed the baby around like a puppy that he is proud of the fact that his son has two daddies.  I don't think a person should be denied the opportunity to earn a living because of sexual orientation, but I choose not to be part of the charade by knowingly sitting there and smiling as though the whole arrangement was a natural part of life.  Clearly, it is not.

Just when I thought I was going to have to start doing my own hair, an enterprise that, with my talent for the sartorial arts would be akin to doing my own kidney transplant, a miracle occurred.  My oldest came home sporting the best hair cut and color I've seen on her.  An acquaintance of hers from one of her many jobs had just had a baby and decided that rather than leave him to go back to work, she would cut and color hair from her living room.  I visited last night and was at first a bit skeptical, but I decided I would just live with whatever results I got knowing that at least this child was not being raised by two members of the same sex.
The house was a bit dark, and I admit it wasn't entirely comfortable, especially the color rinse in the kitchen sink, but she did a phenomenal job, the price was right, and I got to play with the baby while waiting for the color to set.  And, I was helping a mom who chose life to support herself and her child.

BTW, it is nothing short of tragic that an innocent childhood symbol, the rainbow, has become the icon for depravity.  More about that some other time.

One More Reason I Prefer the Extraordinary Form

The day began much sooner than I expected it would.  I could not believe the clock said 5am when the alarm went off.  I should have stayed in bed.

I went to Mass.  The woman who needs to blow her nose sat in front of me, snorting, sniffing and clearing her throat.  It's to the point where I dread when I see her.  How dare I?  She's a child of God and for all I know, she is battling some psychological or physical problem that makes it impossible for her to get any relief from this condition that causes her to make such a racket. I do as I normally do when someone annoys me which is to ask myself: "What would Therese do?"  She would take it and offer it up.    Somehow, I settled down enough that I got past the temptation of handing the woman a tissue and saying " You sound like you really need this."

But now she has given me a new reason to complain.  "May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands, for the praise and glory of GOD's name, for our good and the good of all GOD's church."

The attempt not to refer to God by the pronoun  "His"  is one I find seriously annoying and pales in comparison to the sniffing and throat clearing.  We have no such problem at the TLM.  What's more, the priest celebrant today was one who also likes to change the words and subsequently, fumbles and forgets what he's trying to say.  The little voice in my head says "Shut up Joyce and be thankful you have a Mass to go to each day".  Is it really asking too much to want priest and people alike not to improvise?

BTW, I know I should not complain.  I happened upon Father Z's blog yesterday where he has been juxtapositioning video of the TLM with Masses spiked with puppets and liturgical dancers.  At first there is a temptation for me to laugh, but a mockery of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is no laughing matter.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and if I'm not careful, I'll be retiring the same way.

Divine Mercy Sunday at the Carmelite Monastery Philadelphia.

From Theresa at Carmelitemom comes news that the Carmelite Monastery in Philadelphia will observe Divine Mercy Sunday with a Holy Hour at 2pm followed by the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass at 3pm and veneration of a relic of Pope John Paul II.  Divine Mercy Sunday falls on May 1st.  As you may know, Pope Benedict XVI chose this day to beatify the late pontiff, who instituted the Sunday after Easter as Divine Mercy Sunday.

The Carmelite Monastery is located at 66th Avenue and Old York Road and is most easily reached by traveling straight up North Broad Street.  Off-street parking is available in the lot adjacent to the Monastery.  No word yet on whether or not the Avila Bookstore will be open.

Thanks Theresa :)

See That You Do Not Despise One of These Little Ones

It is customary at our parish for the children who are about to receive First Holy Communion and/or Confirmation to attend the closing night of Forty Hours Devotion.  This is a mixed bag sometimes.  On the one hand, did Christ not beckon the children to come to Him?  On the other hand, this is South Philly we're talking about and for a lot of folks, the sacraments are nothing more than a cultural rite of passage. I recently heard the pastor of a nearby church say that in our neck of the woods, Baptisms are part sacrament and part riot-control.  He's only half-joking.  I must admit to a certain amount of trepidation when I saw the little ones trooping in tonight, some of them literally running down the aisle.  But by the grace of God, it didn't take long at all for them to settle down and occasionally, I would sneak a peek over at them.  The expression on their faces was priceless.  They were totally awestruck.  And also by the grace of God, their parents were on their best behavior, too.

Although we celebrate Forty Hours in the Ordinary Form, it is most reverent and the preaching always centers on the Eucharist.   The music was exquisite and it's a blessing that the choristers gifted with the most beautiful voices are chosen to sing at this service.  I don't think it would occur to the children to talk or fool around, not only because of the solemnity of the sight before them but also because of the splendor of the voices and the grandeur of the organ.  Apologies to Haugen fans but I don't think "Gather Us In" would command the same kind of rapt attention.  How fitting that as our Eucharistic King was lovingly carried by the priest throughout the church in the Monstrance, every eye was riveted on Him.  I pray that the impression made on these children will carry them through their young lives and on a journey that leads them to Heaven.  I pray, too, that the Holy Spirit would ignite a spark in their parents to realize the gift they have been given in the faith.

Tantum Ergo As I Haven't Heard it Before

Tomorrow evening we will close Forty Hours Devotion at our parish with a Eucharistic procession.  It is customary for the current pastor of our parish to invite previous pastors as well as some of his brother priests to participate.  I have several favorite nights that I look forward to each  year.  This is one of them.  The others would be the Mass of the Lord's Supper, the Great Vigil of Easter and of course, Christmas Eve.

The Picardy melody in the excerpt below is more commonly heard in the hymn "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence", which is what we sing to open the service on the final night.  I thought I would share it here.

Turning the Other Cheek or Aiding and Abetting Sin?

My mother, God bless her, has become so accustomed to the behavior of a particular family member that she is now oblivious to it.  She looks forward to our Sunday get-togethers with  family and she cooks until the cows come home.  Yesterday she wanted to make a special dinner for her youngest grandchild, and when we arrived her table was decorated with a beautiful vase of pink carnations and baby's breath.  Rebecca was thrilled, especially when she saw the cake her grandmother baked for her, a chocolate confection covered in a cream-cheese icing.  Mom tried to replicate the cake that Rebecca had asked for every year until the bakery that made it suddenly closed.

Also "decorating" the table was a sibling who barely acknowledged our presence when we arrived.  As she usually is when she comes to dinner at Mom's, she remained glued to her cell phone.  I have no idea if she was on Facebook or some other website, but she would occasionally squeal about some news she just read and then go back to exercising her thumbs.  When the meal was served and we paused to say grace, she did not look up from her phone.  I noticed she did not even bother making the sign of the cross.  Her only words to me during the entire meal were words of admonition when I raised my voice so my father could hear what I was saying as well as a few insulting remarks about my parenting skills.  Apparently, the sight of me and the sound of my voice were more than she could bear yesterday, for reasons known only to her, and I couldn't wait to be out of her presence.  I helped my mother clear the table and then I sat inside, stewing, until it was time for dessert.  God forgive me for saying this, but I felt like I was sitting across from a demon who was trying to scratch his way into my soul.

It always seems to happen that after a very holy and solemn event, in this case the opening of Forty Hours after the TLM yesterday, I'm blindsided by someone intent on disrupting my inner peace.  More often than not, it's my sister.  I thought of the Lord's words, that we should not offer Him a gift if we have a dispute with our brother or sister but rather wait until we have made amends and then offer the gift.  It also got me to wondering this:  When does turning the other cheek cease to be an admirable thing and become enabling of bad behavior?

In the old days, I would take so much of my sister's jabs and then let her have it.  I've even reverted to the old behavior on occasion when sorely provoked, which is just what she wants.  That gives her the opportunity to remind me of how "Christian" my behavior is.  I have thought of avoiding these dinners so long as she insists on joining us, but I would be punishing my parents, so I continue to be subjected to this.  It is so difficult to pray for a person like this, even though we are related by flesh and blood.  Afterward, it's even harder to let go of what happened.  I figure that when I no longer feel any insult or injury by her behavior, I will have gotten over myself.  As you know, this is my prayer for myself for Lent - Lord, please help me get over myself.

I'm always saddened to hear of relatives who do not speak to each other, especially siblings.  I do not condone this behavior but I have to say that after yesterday, I understand the temptation to go this route.  I won't, but it takes all I have to continue to pray for her conversion.  On the other hand, when my husband and I were talking about her blatant disgust with me, it occurred  to me that I have what Mary Gordon might refer to as "an unfair advantage".  Many is the time I wish there was a way of allowing my sister to see for herself how objectionable her behavior is.  Sometimes, as angry as she makes me, it is nothing compared to my sadness that she can be so pathetic in her dislike of me.  I get no pleasure in the stark reality that she is not on a path to Heaven right now, not because of her treatment of me but because of her complete disregard for her faith.

In my post about overcoming our blindness to sin, Maria asked me about praying for people who insist on remaining in darkness.  That is most important thing I can do, and yet it is so hard.  There may not be anything harder than to pray for a person who loathes you and insists on ridiculing you.  I lack the strength to do this on my own, so I have to ask God to lend me some of His.

What good is it if I light my own path and leave those behind me in darkness?

Kneeling before the Monstrance this evening before the service began, I realized that no matter how much progress I think I have made, it takes an unpleasant event like yesterday to help me see how very far I have to go yet.  God's way perhaps of cutting me down to size?

Perhaps  you have had a similar experience with someone in your family or circle of friends and you have some counsel you can offer.  I think I should definitely seek some spiritual direction from a priest about this as well.

Thanks and God Bless you.

Palm Sunday in the Extraordinary Form at St. Paul's Philadelphia

Photo of the procession as it departs for St. Paul's. (Photographer unknown)

The following information is taken from the leaflet insert from St. Paul's TLM

The Church of St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi, the other church in St. Paul Parish, will once again be used as the ecclesia collecta on Palm Sunday, April 17, weather permitting.    This means that the Palm Sunday ceremonies will begin there with the blessing and distribution of palms at `12 Noon.  From there, we will process to St. Paul's for Mass.  Those who are physically unable to walk should wait at St. Paul's for the procession to arrive at approximately 12:30pm.  St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi is approximately 4 blocks from St. Paul's at 7th and Montrose Streets.  The faithful can park in the schoolyard across from St. Paul's and walk over to St. Mary's.


The faithful are invited to the altar, the same as they would to receive Holy Communion.  The priest celebrant will present each palm to the faithful, at which time the recipient should kiss the palm and then kiss the priest's hand.  We will then line up and process to St. Paul's, lead by the schola in a chant appropriate for Palm Sunday.

At the Mass, the priest celebrant will chant the entire Passion in Latin.  Last year was my first Palm Sunday Mass in the Extraordinary Form and I very much look forward to hearing it again this year.

One thing I definitely do not look forward to in the Ordinary Form is the way the Passion is parceled out in bits as though it's a stage play.

Hans Leo Hassler: Missa super dixit Maria (Agnus Dei)

Every Sunday, I will try to share music which was sung or played at the TLM at my parish.  The sound isn't the best on this so you may need to turn up the volume a bit.  Enjoy.

What Happens When You Can See

In this scene from Jesus of Nazareth, the blind man resists the Lord's  desire to cure him.  Someone in the crowd jokes that the man knows if he could see, no one would give him anything any more.  The few coins he receives from the generosity of others is nothing compared to what he could earn, but it's easier this way.  Because of his blindness, he doesn't have to work or struggle like the rest of us.  His reward for begging, while meager, is enough to get by, and he is clearly satisfied with just getting by.

Blindness can be a curse of darkness, but it can also be a crutch.  When we are blind, we can blame our lack of sight for a lot of transgressions.  "I did not know that was a sin, and now that I do know, I will continue to act as though I don't."   Or, you try to argue and reason your way out of it.  "Now how can THAT be a sin?  We were only trying to have some fun."

Getting to Heaven is not easy.  Nothing worth doing is.  But look around you and if your family and circle of acquaintances is anything like mine, there are an awful lot of folks who are happy as larks to just get by.

Sometimes I am touched by those converts or reverts who, in a a moment of weakness, will long for the days when they were ignorant.  Life is a lot more fun, depending on your perspective, when you can do as you please with no worry about what state you have put your soul.  For a person who has not yet been enlightened by the Holy Spirit, it can be unnerving to discover that, now that you know better, you must change or risk the loss of eternal life.

It is a wonderful thing to have Jesus enter your life, but to some, it comes with too great a price.  I hear it all the time from people who would rather wallow in their blindness to God's Will than repent and convert.

"Life was meant to be enjoyed"

"I'm not hurting anyone, so why I can't I (fill in the blank)?"

"God wants us to be happy, and doing x, y and z makes me happy, so how it could it be wrong?"

I don't know you about you, but for me,  this life is an exile.  Those of us who pray the Rosary pray those words every day when we appeal to Mary.  Life wasn't mean to be a dreary dungeon of gloom, but it wasn't mean to be a utopia either.  Watch the people who carry on as if the opposite is true.  Is their life a utopia?  Is anyone's?

For me, there is nothing quite like making an honest and thorough examination of conscience.  Try it sometime and if you stumble across something that you didn't know was a sin, ask Jesus for the strength to admit your infirmity and be cured of it in confession.  Ask Him to give you the graces you need to bolster your resolve against that sin from now on.

It is a sin to want to remain in darkness and the price is definitely not worth it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfuwQPtcno8&feature=fvsr

Rosary for Priests

Every Saturday morning during Lent, we pray the Rosary for priests following the 8am Mass.  If you are so inclined, you can pray the same Rosary at home, at adoration or wherever you normally pray.  We did this at our parish during the entire Year of the Priest and I was sorry when we stopped.  With all of the negative news of late concerning priests, we could not have resumed this practice a minute too soon.  I'm so happy my pastor is once again leading us in this prayer after Saturday morning Mass.

Here is the link for the Rosary for Priests from Eccesia Dei.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Whenever I think I have an impossibly difficult job, I watch this clip from Carrier, a PBS documentary from a years ago about the aircraft carrier Nimitz.  Talk about nerves of steel.

Sad Divisions

I have noticed around the blogosphere some tension between so-called traditional and non-traditional Catholics.  While I may have my preferences for the way in which Mass is celebrated, I do not look down my nose at one form or the other.  Either form celebrated with the appropriate reverence and adherence to the liturgy is ok with me. I happen to prefer the Extraordinary Form, but this does not prevent me from attending the Ordinary Form. And yet I know people who will go to Mass at another parish rather than attend the TLM at their own church on Sundays.  And of course there are the uber-traditionalists that won't step foot inside my church unless the Mass or devotion is being celebrated in the Extraordinary Form.  In my humble opinion, this is all so wrong.

I know that many people who revere the Extraordinary Form have suffered  not only deprivation but have also been subjected to scorn and ridicule.  This is wrong.  But what is also wrong is to treat a perfectly licit and reverently celebrated Novus Ordo as though it is a pagan ritual.  I seem to be coming across such people who fit both categories more and more lately and it doesn't sit well with me.  Without the physical violence, it sometimes seems like a gang warfare mentality has gripped some of us.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

One way in which I think non-traditionalists set themselves up for having a major inferiority complex is by thinking that if they don't fit a certain description, they will be viewed somehow as less than Catholic.  Certainly, it's wrong for any of us to judge others by appearances but in worrying about such things, don't we ourselves become caught up in the same superficial trap?

If and when I'm fortunate enough to reach the Pearly Gates, the only thing I want to hear is:  "Well done, good and faithful servant.  Enter into the Joy of your Master's Kingdom."

If I get hung up on what people think, I may never get there or at the least, substantially delay my arrival.

The Five First Saturdays

A common complaint about nurses is that we are task-oriented.  We have a list of duties we must accomplish each day and sometimes, in our focus on getting things done, we overlook one very important factor - the reason we complete these tasks is for the welfare of the patient, not so we can check off a to-do list.

As Catholics, I think we can become task-oriented as well.  You should hear the turmoil that goes on inside my head every morning.  How I ever took a job with such early hours is beyond me.  Waking up and getting out of bed has always been a very difficult feat.  The alarm goes off, and I start mapping things out in my mind of whether I need to get up or whether I can afford more sleep.  Then the realization sets in that if I don't get up, I won't have time to pray before Mass.  There are certain prayers I want to pray every day.  This doesn't mean I don't pray other prayers, but there is a reason these devotions carry with them the graces that they do.   So I try to pray them every day.  And then I get to church, and I can't find a parking spot, and I get inside later than I planned, and now I won't have time for this devotion or that devotion before Mass begins.

And throughout all of this frenzy, Christ patiently listens and sorts it all out for me.  I believe in the end, He knows that though my attention span is not the best, and I can so easily get distracted, what drives me is not necessarily what I am going to get out of all of this effort but that I do what I do to please Him and work for the souls entrusted to me.

James 5:16
"Remember this:  the person who brings a sinner back from his way will save his soul from death and cancel a multitude of sins"

What am I trying to say that is not clear from my rambling?  That when it comes to devotions like the Five First Saturdays, we should not strive to set aside making these devotions as though they are some kind of coupon to win us points in eternity.  It becomes much easier to keep these devotions when we forget about what they promise to do for us and instead focus on how much they please Our Lord and His Holy Mother.  We can be sure we will gain much more than we deserve.

If we know that First Fridays and First Saturdays are so pleasing to Jesus and Mary that they condescended to ask weak human beings to spread their message, we will not be content to stop after a certain number but rather, will work to make these devotions part of our lives forever, so long as we are physically able.

For those who are not aware, Our Lady asked Sister Lucia, the Fatima visionary, to spread devotion to her Immaculate Heart through the First Five Saturdays commitment.  Mary does not ask much.  In fact, I'd go so far as to suggest that since she asks the bare minimum,  all Catholics should make a point of offering this devotion  to her.

1. Go to Mass on 5 consecutive First Saturdays and receive Holy Communion

2.  Go to confession, no longer than a week before or a week after the First Saturday Mass

3.  Pray a full Mystery of the Rosary (e.g. 5 decades of the Sorrowful Mysteries)

4.  Keep Mary company for a quarter of an hour ( who doesn't have 15 minutes for their mother?) by meditating on one mystery  or  several mysteries of the Rosary.

5. Do all of this in reparation to her Immaculate Heart

I know that anyone who is properly disposed to worthily offer this devotion to Mary will not be able to stop after 5 Saturdays but rather, will want to make this a life time commitment.  In return for this small sacrifice ( I don't know how anyone can call receiving the Sacraments a sacrifice, but ok) The Blessed Virgin promises to "assist us at the hour of our death with the graces necessary for salvation".

Did you know that if you are properly disposed, you can gain an indulgence by praying the Rosary in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament?  Think of all the souls in Purgatory who can benefit if you win this indulgence and offer it for their release.

St. Therese referred to herself as a mother of souls.  She viewed her work of prayer as a way of earning a livelihood for her children.  We would do well to rise each day with the desire to imitate her.

Blog-Free Fridays

As part of my sorely-lacking Lenten discipline, I will not be blogging or reading blogs tomorrow.  If you leave a comment after I have signed off, I won't see it until Saturday.

Tomorrow is the First Friday of the month.  If you can't get to Mass or Adoration, you can still pray the Litany of the Sacred Heart, printed here for your convenience.

The Litany of the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
God, the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, Son of the Eternal Father, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, formed in the womb of the Virgin Mother by the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, united substantially with the word of God, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, of infinite majesty, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, holy temple of God, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, tabernacle of the Most High, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, house of God and gate of heaven, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, glowing furnace of charity, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, vessel of justice and love, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, full of goodness and love, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, abyss of all virtues, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, most worthy of all praise, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, king and center of all hearts, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, in whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, in whom dwelleth all the fullness of the Divinity, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, in whom the Father is well pleased, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, of whose fullness we have all received, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, desire of the everlasting hills, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, patient and rich in mercy, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, rich to all who invoke Thee, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, fount of life and holiness, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, propitiation for our sins, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, saturated with revilings, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, crushed for our iniquities, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, made obedient unto death, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, pierced with a lance, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, source of all consolation, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, our life and resurrection, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, our peace and reconciliation, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, victim for our sins, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, salvation of those who hope in Thee, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, hope of those who die in Thee, have mercy on us.
Heart of Jesus, delight of all saints, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord,
Lamb of God who takest away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
V. Jesus, meek and humble of Heart.
R. Make our hearts like unto Thine.

Let us pray
Almighty and everlasting God, look upon the Heart of Thy well-beloved Son and upon the acts of praise and satisfaction which He renders unto Thee in the name of sinners; and do Thou, in Thy great goodness, grant pardon to them who seek Thy mercy, in the name of the same Thy Son, Jesus Christ, who liveth and reigneth with Thee, world without end.

Funeral Chat

Today was my little friend's memorial Mass.   I wish the skies would have been more considerate, but at least at the time of the Mass, it was just gray and not raining.  Rebecca met me at church.  We decided she would go to school late, following the Mass.  I went to work very early, left for a few hours for the Mass, and returned after dropping Becca at her school.  On the short drive over, she said to me: " You do want your funeral Mass in Latin, don't you?"

I laughed at first.  I have the music picked out for my funeral and some strict instructions about no eulogies, etc. but I honestly hadn't given much thought to the subject.  I know I'd like the priest to wear black vestments, and I clearly do not want any assumptions that I am in Heaven.  A funeral Mass is offered for the repose of the soul of the deceased.  If someone feels compelled to give a eulogy or a stand-up performance about what they suppose I'm doing in Heaven, they can save it for the luncheon afterward.  But would I want my Mass to be a requiem Mass in the Extraordinary Form?

I told my daughter I'd have to think about it.  Then I asked the question no sane parent would ever ask their own child.  "God forbid, if you go before me, what kind of Mass do you want Rebecca?"

Without even a second's pause, she said she would like her funeral Mass to be in the Extraordinary Form.  "It might be the only time any of our family ever goes to a Latin Mass", she told me, ever the considerate one. Little does she know.   I come from a large Italian family known for getting demonstratively emotional at funerals.  I will never forget my paternal grandfather's funeral as long as I live.

First, the "wake" was held over not one but two nights.  The first night was for family only, the second was open to everyone.  My grandmother and all my aunts wore black.  On the evening before the wakes began, we visited my grandmother at the home she had shared with Poppy, and every new visitor was greeted by much wailing and shrieking, most of it in Italian.  Then after each outburst, she would return to praying the very large Rosary she had in her lap, until the next unsuspecting person arrived to "pay their respects."

After the night of the first viewing, one of my aunts decided a funeral home was no place for grandchildren to spend an entire evening, so she generously agreed to take all of us back to my grandparents' house until the wake had concluded.  She entertained us with stories and when the other adults arrived, my uncle Sonny took over.  He told us about the days when a wake was held with the deceased person in the house, which is where the ritual took its name "wake" because someone was expected to stay up all night with the body, another sign of respect. The men told a lot of jokes, drank and laughed.  What was so funny, their father just died?  Still, it was comforting in a way to see them give the morbidity a break.   But the real spectacle would begin on the day of the funeral.

I had never been to a burial before. I was barely ten years old at the time.  I was already freaked out about seeing my grandfather's lifeless cold body heavily made up by the undertaker lying in the casket.  There was much wailing and screaming when the undertaker tried to close the coffin before the body was transported to church for the Mass. Before he could close the lid, one of my cousins tucked a bottle of booze in the casket with my grandfather.  Not sure what that was about, but it was a strange thing to do.  At the cemetery,   just like the famous scene in The Godfather, each person laid a flower on the casket.  Not my grandmother.  She tried to throw herself on top of it, barely restrained by the family.  My theatrical aunt wailed loudly as the men tried to drag my grandmother from the grave.  I was mortified and perplexed.  My grandparents fought like cats and dogs.  I could scarcely remember a kind word being exchanged between them, and here she was, trying to jump in the grave with him.  I had never seen anything so undignified, until we were compelled to take her to the cemetery a few weeks later.  This time, she kicked the dirt around the grave.  Having visited my maternal grandfather's grave every Good Friday, I was again mortified.  We always took care not to step on any of the plots or stones, and here she was, in her black dress, kicking wildly at the dirt.  It was enough to make me never want to go to another funeral in my life.

While there have been a few deaths since then, no one has ever behaved quite like that again.  Still, my family has a lot to learn about funeral decorum.  One cousin talked throughout the entire Mass for my paternal grandmother.  Another decided that he should be the one to give the eulogy, even though my grandmother never liked him and told everyone it took years off her life when he married my cousin. At my maternal grandmother's viewing, my mother walked in, took one look at her beloved mother in the casket, and suffered a serious heart attack.  I thought I was going to have to bury both of them in the same week.

I'm very glad my little friend was given a reverent and dignified send-off today.  The priest gave a simple but touching homily about how, when she was a baby, her godparents brought her to the Easter candle to be baptised and today, her remains were once again brought to that candle so her relatives and friends could ask God to bring her soul to eternal rest.  It was an entirely appropriate funeral Mass, which is possible regardless of which form in which it is celebrated.

I still have to give Rebecca's question a bit more thought.

At What Price Success?

OK, before I even get started - RAMBLING ALERT!

I think it was Larry D who ran a post about how people who go to church a lot are more likely to be obese. I can kind of see how that's possible.  Some folks give up a lot to be involved, and that includes exercise.  I don't know how scientific the study is, but the priest's words at the 6:30 a few weeks ago got me to thinking.  The weekday Mass I attend sometimes has better attendance than some Sunday Masses at other parishes.  The priest, in his sermon, said that he thought that people who make the effort to go to daily Mass are achievers. His words really struck me because outside of the spiritual realm, I'm as far from an achiever as you can get.

I am very torn right now about whether or not I really want to pursue my Master's.  I dropped my course this semester with the excuse that it was too much to continue studies  while I'm still getting the hang of a new job.  The reality is, I dropped it because I didn't want to be consumed with writing papers during Lent.  I don't want to take my next course because it will coincide with my involvement with the Treasures of the Church relic tour.  The truth is, the only achievements in which I have an interest are spiritual.  Outside of that, I couldn't care less about school, professional organizations, letters after my name, titles, etc.  This got me to thinking again.  Am I wasting some God-given ability?  It's hard work to complete 4 credits online in 8 weeks.  What if I had followed the traditional course of events and abandoned a career to stay home with my kids?  Wouldn't this have been more pleasing to God? What am I called to do?

It's kind of late to look on back and wonder what could have been.  The reality is that I cannot reverse the course.  If I stopped to think about all the weight that I carry, I would collapse, so I don't think about it.  There are women with much heavier burdens than the one I carry, so I cannot and should not complain.  

Last week, the Association of Operating Room Nurses (AORN) held its annual congress in Philadelphia.  Some of my nurses are heavily involved in this organization and it was a sacrilege to them that I did not attend.  They brought me back some of the literature.  There were lots and lots of names that had lots and lots of initials after them.  I find this a bit amusing.  I don't know of  any other walk of life where people feel the need to have every single credential they have ever earned after their names.   I think this comes from a sense of insecurity, but who knows?  As a mother with children still in high school, shouldn't I rather concern myself with their achievements?

Anyway, this has been on my mind of late.  Am I lazy?  Does God expect more of me?   We can always do more.  I'd just rather do more spiritually.  

Fifteen Already!

Happy Birthday to my youngest progeny, Rebecca, who is 15 today.  She was born on her due date on a beautiful Saturday before Palm Sunday.  I went to bed the night before with plans to visit a thoroughbred breeding farm for their open house, but come Saturday morning, Rebecca had other ideas.  She was born at 3:55pm and oddly enough, as we waited for her arrival, my husband and I discovered we both had the same song rolling around in our heads, The Beatles' "It Won't Be Long".  It sure wasn't!

Please say a prayer for my young lady that she will continue to grow in faith and and love.

Around the Philadelphia Parishes and More

First,  a prayer of thanksgiving for the good news that seminarian Phillip Gerard Johnson continues to post on his blog.  Please pay him a visit and assure him of your prayers.  I pray that it is God's Will to bring to fruition the promise that began when this young man entered the seminary.  I continue to ask Charles Untz for his intercession in this matter.  I will have more to say about this at a later date.

Second, Matthew and Rebecca and I just returned from St. Rita's, where a meeting to firm up the volunteers for The Treasures of the Church Exposition on May 12 was held.  As I think I wrote previously, Treasures of the Church is a collection of 161 relics of the saints and a ministry of Father Carlos Martins of Texas.  St. Rita's will kick off Father Martins' tour of the greater Philadelphia area by hosting an evening with the saints on Thursday, May 12th.  A talk will be given by Father Martins in the upper church at 7pm.  At 8pm, we will journey to the lower shrine to venerate the relics, which will be displayed over 19 tables.  Father Martins will be bringing the relics to other parishes and shrines in the area and I will post that list here as soon as the rest of the details are finalized.

St. Rita's is located at Broad and Ellsworth Street in South Philadelphia.  Free parking is available in the lot immediately adjacent to the shrine on Ellsworth Street and elevator service is available between the lower shrine and the upper church.  Email me if you want more details.

This coming Sunday, St. Paul's at 10th and Christian Streets will commence Forty Hours Devotion following the Traditional Latin Mass at 12 Noon.  Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament will take place until Evening Prayer and Benediction at 7pm.  The closing night is Tuesday April 5th.  If enough people commit to keeping Our Lord company at times such as these, perhaps our priests will be encouraged to consider making Adoration a regularly scheduled devotion, rather than a once a year happening.  Email me if you want more details.

Have a blessed night.

What If?

In our short procedure unit, we sometimes take nursing home patients who are in need of a blood transfusion.  Nursing homes do not store blood so rather than admit the patient for an overnight stay at the hospital, which is very costly, they will come to our SPU to get their blood.  The patients are nearly always ventilator dependent and in what's described as a persistent vegetative state.  The patient we had today was someone who was not much older than me.  The patient had suffered anoxia, which is a lack of oxygen to the brain, and that's how she came to be this way.  Through a tracheotomy, the ventilator breathed for her and she seemed not to notice anything.  It was a heartbreaking scene to behold.  Nonetheless, we cared for the patient and at the conclusion of the transfusions, the ambulance arrived to take her back to the skilled nursing facility.  I wondered if she had family.  I wondered if she was "locked in" meaning she sees, hears and understands everything but is incapable of response.

I will confess that there was a time in my life when I would have wanted my family to withdraw support if ever I wound up like this patient.  I know better, and now my fear is that in some misguided effort to spare me of any suffering, they would do to me what Terri Schiavo's husband did to her.  I don't fear for myself in that case, but for them.  And so it's been a difficult discussion with some people in my family that should, God forbid, I suffer some catastrophic cerebral event, I would want them to do only what is acceptable in the eyes of God and His Church.

I feel I have made some spiritual progress if my greater concern is offending God, rather than fearing total incapacitation like the patient today.  I'm also shocked at the reaction that people who, on the surface, are very devout and committed Catholic have when I raise this topic.

It is very difficult to watch people suffer, particularly people we love.  Our Blessed Mother bore witness to the terrible punishment her innocent Son suffered at Calvary.  It's a natural thing to have an aversion to watching a loved one endure suffering, but hopefully, should we find ourselves in that position, we can draw strength from Mary, who never abandoned Jesus, though it tore her heart to pieces to watch Him hang from the cross.