Tuesday, April 6, 2010
What does it mean to put all our trust in Jesus?
Everyday, at least twice, I pray that I put all my trust in Jesus. And sometimes, it would probably be more accurate for me to pray "Lord, I SHOULD put all my trust in You, please help me to understand and accept this." Without going into gory detail, I will simply say this was probably the worst Easter Sunday of my life, at least in terms of conventional expectations for how the day should have been spent. And I can't say that my Lent was much better. I am finding out that the more I pray, the less my life resembles what I think it should be or what I'd like it to be. And sadly, I'm finding out that I still lack the detachment from self that would enable me to be more open to whatever the Lord sees fit to send me. My own will continues to stand in the way of union with Christ. I know that the way to Jesus and the Father is the Way of the Cross, and the more closely we identify with Christ, the greater the sufferings. I seem to meet these new miseries with varying degrees of "joy". Today I was tempted to ask Jesus not to love me so much because I'd reached a point where I didn't think I could handle any more bad news. It was just one of those days where I lacked the ability to trust that this seemingly bad news was something God knows is for my own good. I won't stop praying the words "Jesus, I put all my trust in You." I will also pray for greater faith to pray these words with more conviction.
Posted by TLW at 6:54 PM