The late Dan Fogelberg had a song by the same name. I'm one of those people who badly mangles lyrics and the words to songs often turn out to be something quite different from what I thought I heard. I thought I heard him singing "One day Lord we'll understand". That's not quite what he was singing but I think it would have been accurate.
Today concluded my first week at the new hospital. My apologies for not posting a photo of the Madonna but there is a bench in front of the statue and every time I've visited Mary to take her picture, someone was sitting in the bench, so I will have to try again.
I have been very worried, as I always am starting a new venture, of whether I'll be competent and successful. I feel what's especially at stake here is not wanting to let someone I love very much down by not performing up to snuff. I was excused from the orientation class a little early today, so I had a chance to visit with my boss and review the plan for when I do come on board next week. I confided my worries to her.
"You are a delight to work with and you are fabulous at what you do and you will be fabulous here. Don't forget Who's watching over us here."
Oh, yeah. HIM. I began my day in the little chapel with Him and later, as I had occasion walk past the sanctuary within the hospital where the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass takes place, I thought how sad it was that so many people walked past the chapel without even a nod. My elderly priest friend would always genuflect when passing the chapel in his retirement home, and I thought that it's fitting to give some kind of acknowledgment of the Lord's Presence when walking past any structure that houses Him. At some point, I might suggest a little sign that calls people's attention to the fact that the Blessed Sacrament is reserved within those walls, walls that sit right in a busy lobby, and that people should feel free to acknowledge His Presence by some small gesture, even if it's refraining from conversation for a few seconds to offer some brief words of praise.
Getting back to the plan: My boss and I suffered through some very trying times together. A person who was making our lives Hell brought us together, in a way. All throughout these trials, I wondered why God couldn't make the right thing happen. My boss felt she had no alternative but to leave because the person above us both was maddeningly inept and vindictive on top of it. My boss had to report directly to this woman while I had it slightly better. Our complaints fell on deaf ears and it was a very sad day when my boss departed. Why Lord, why is the good person being driven out of here and the not-so-good person being allowed to continue down her destructive path? I so wished I could go with my friend, especially since she was going to a Catholic hospital. She told me to keep the faith because she felt we would one day work together again. The opportunity came in December, but my family gave me fits because of the distance and the impending miserable winter weather, so I took another job feeling like I had settled for second best.
Today, as I strolled through the beautiful grounds of this facility, where deer graze in the grass and birds and flowers of every variety are in view, I thought of how God had it all under control the whole time. I could almost hear Him saying: "Silly thing. You always wanted to work in a Catholic hospital. You wanted to work for your friend. If I had done for you what you begged of Me a year ago, none of this would have been possible for you, oh ye of so little faith."
What's more, my brief stint at the other facility gave me so many trying experiences that I will be better equipped to handle problems now. I always joked that I'd seen everything short of someone bringing a farm animal to the waiting room. I'm convinced if I had stayed there long enough, it would have happened!
To be sure, this is not without cost. I am accustomed to early mornings, but not quite this early. I have to be in bed by 9:30 or I cannot get enough sleep to be up and out the door by 5:40. This means no baseball during the week. Is that such a bad thing? No. I don't think the Lord would demand so many sacrifices of me at one time, but it certainly won't hurt to offer it to Him. This presents some other opportunities, also. My son is entering his senior year of high school. I have been talking to him about considering culinary school after graduation. He has a great interest in cooking. I asked him to consider getting dinner started for me a few nights a week as a way of helping around the house and getting acclimated to the kitchen. He is willing to give it a try and excited about learning some new things and earning a little more allowance. He has been making breakfasts for some time now and is very neat and careful, more so than his sister. (Rebecca can pray the Rosary in Latin, but I wouldn't trust her to boil water, at least not yet). I am going to get some dishes started for him and then I'll leave instructions for him about how to finish up. We'll see how it goes.
Next week, I have to be interviewed as part of succession planning and will have to give my view of where I want to be in 5 years. I have a tough time with these questions. How do I know where I'll be, IF I'll even be here, in 5 years? I may have to tell them to take the matter up with the Lord. He seldom lets me in on where He's sending me, so it remains to be seen.
Have confidence in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not upon thy own prudence. (Proverbs 3:5)