Friday, January 7, 2011

Make Way for the Unclean!

In today's Gospel, Jesus cleanses a leper and sends him to show himself to the high priest. In his sermon, the priest described how lepers had to ring a bell and cry "unclean!" to warn the rest of society that an undesirable was passing through. I thought about this today and how I sometimes feel like a leper when I'm among very holy people. Part of me wants them to know how unclean I've been so they don't mistake me for something I'm not, lest they catch the sinfulness that keeps me several rungs below them.

First, there probably isn't a commandment I haven't broken to some degree or another. No need to go into detail, just suffice it to say that I probably been there and done that. Nuff said. What's worse is that some of this took place after I'd had children. I'm not just responsible for getting myself to Heaven but all the little souls that were entrusted to me through matrimony and childhood as well. What a miracle that I made that u-turn when I did.

When I see very large families at the TLM and realize that the mothers don't work outside the home and the fathers willingly support their families, I feel some measure of sadness that my husband and I did not take this route. We were never the kind of family that made the acquisition of material possessions the focus of our lives, but we could have done things better. Believe me, I thank God every day that He sent me the grace to correct the situation before it was too late, but still...

On what may seem like an unrelated note, I was watching a program on EWTN last night and realized I hadn't seen a particular priest host in a few years. Concerned for his health, I did an Internet search and the result was not pretty. Suffice it to say I have added his intention to my novena to St. Therese this month. Just as situations like his can rock our faith to its core, so can conversion stories like mine and others help shore up the faith of others who are struggling. Jesus picked all sorts of characters to be His apostles. He continues to use some of the most unlikely people to spread the Gospel message and be His witnesses in this world, including me.

At Christmas, my sister revealed that she started to go to Mass again on Sundays. When I praised her for this, my oldest wasted no time in pointing out how there was a period in my life when I, too, didn't think going to Mass was important. "I really don't see how you can be one way one day and another the next."

I asked her to consider that perhaps this is how God intended to use me to persuade others to return to the fold. I have a certain credibility to skeptics as a revert that a perfectly faithful person may not. Without leprosy, blindness and lameness, there would be no opportunity for miracles. Perhaps it's the same way with faith and sinners.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. You have echoed many of my worries. And then offered a word of encouragement.

    ReplyDelete

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