Last night the house was finally quiet enough for a few hours that I could read this book, and I did. I don't want to give anything away for the sake of those who haven't read it yet, but I think if we could put this book into the hands of folks on the other side of the fence, it might do some good. I have to say that I saw a lot of myself in Abby Johnson as she wrestled with what she did for a living and how she justified Planned Parenthood's existence.
I worked for a hospital that had many excellent surgeons on staff but which also allowed late-term abortions to take place. When I first started working there, the D & E's, as they're called, took place in a free-standing center that was part of the hospital but had its own staff and director. Occasionally, staff from our OR were asked to cover these cases, but if a person objected, they could not be forced to participate. Every year, the number of people willing to be assigned to these rooms dwindled to the point where any new hires for the free-standing facility were told that working in the D & E rooms was mandatory. Since I worked in another specialty, I didn't think too much about what was happening in the place that issued my paycheck. I had been asked once to work in this room when I first arrived at the hospital. At the time, I considered myself in that nebulous area known as "I'm personally opposed but feel other women should make their own decisions." Still, I refused. I saw clearly that my participation would not mean assisting in surgery but in the wholesale slaughter of an infant and I wanted no part of it.
After I underwent my conversion, I felt especially grateful that I had never been duped into aiding and abetting infanticide, and I had a new-found appreciation for the staff who secretly slipped adoption information and other anti-abortion literature to patients as well as the offending surgeon. No one was ever "caught", but I admired their bravery in taking a chance.
Then, the decision was made to move the doctor who performed these procedures to our side of the street. I objected as strenuously as I could, but I was overruled. In our "leadership" meetings, I had a woman stand up and point her finger in my face and tell me that at least hospital abortions were safer than having them in a back alley. "Who are they safer for?" I asked her. "The baby still winds up dead, regardless." I was proud of myself for leaving her speechless, but I did not succeed in stopping this. And when I thought about it, maybe it was good that I didn't. The only thing that was different is that this travesty would be taking place in the same facility as the surgeries I supervised, so I couldn't claim ignorance anymore.
I happened to be in the recovery room one day when a young woman was brought in from one of the OR's. She was sobbing uncontrollably. I could never just walk away from a crying person without asking if they needed help, but she had several nurses and anesthesia personnel around her who were trying to console her. I heard her telling them she was very sorry about what had just taken place, but she had two kids at home and no support and felt she did the best thing. But I could tell she knew what she had just done was very wrong. I didn't think it was the right time to affirm this with her, but I have prayed for her ever since that she would seek God's forgiveness and be enlightened.
I tried to talk to a priest about what was taking place and how I could remain there, even though I did not take part in the infanticide. I could tell this was as much a quandary for him as it was for me. He was one of the priests who brought Holy Communion to the sick at our hospital. Countless priests and nuns had been among our patient clientele. Did they know what was going on? One would expect to hear that abortions were taking place at Planned Parenthood. But did they know that a hospital renowned for bringing babies into the world was also notorious for bringing innocent life to a deliberate and brutal end? And what right did I have to point fingers when I'd been taking a paycheck from this institution for years?
I have since left that hospital but I can't not think about the nurses and techs who assisted that doctor as casually as they would an ear nose and throat doc who performed tonsillectomies. Maybe if I had the courage that the members of Coalition for Life did, my colleagues might have undergone the same enlightenment that Abby Johnson did.
The Joint Commission used to have a standard requiring that people who objected to a particular procedure were allowed to be excused from participating in it. That standard has vanished from the manual over the last few years.
ReplyDeleteI have immense respect for your leaving that facility.
I too have immense respect for you Little Way. The older I get the more revolting abortion seems to feel. I know I could not work for any place that was remotely involved with abortions. I'm saddened by the women who chose it and pity them. But for the doctors that actually perform it, I have nothing but contempt for them.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the kind sentiments, I really do, but I should have left there much sooner than I did. And for a long time, I was on the wrong side of this issue, as I said above. I bought the lie, but the young men and women who see right through that lie are the ones most worthy of respect. One day, I saw a young man at the elevator weeping. He had obviously just left the patient hold area. The elevator came before I could ask him if needed anything and later I found out he was the spouse of a patient undergoing a late-term abortion for what is cleverly called dysgenetics. I could never understand why prospective parents would abort in the interest of sparing their child suffering at birth. They obviously have no idea what happens during an abortion. If they did, they could never go through with it.
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