The Unprofitable Servant: Overwhelming Sadness

Monday, June 20, 2011

Overwhelming Sadness

We were at Father's Day dinner at my parents' house and somehow, the most innocuous comment put me in tears. I would imagine many of you feel the same way. It seems like every time I turn around, another priest is in some kind of trouble. It just gets to me and I can't put my finger on the reason why. Is it for myself, for them or for Him that I want to cry?

Sunday morning and I open the paper to read about a father who bludgeoned his wife and son to death and then laid his head on the railroad tracks and waited for the train to finish the horror he had started. I'm not following the Casey Anthony saga but it keeps barging into the evening newscast. Dear God why? Why do human beings do what they do to one another?

What is it that makes people go so terribly wrong? What is it that is so powerful it can overcome the love between a husband and wife or a father and son? There have been times in my life when I thought I couldn't go on and all I had to do was think of the reaction my parents or my young children would have to me doing something rash and it's always been enough to snap me back to reality. Since my reversion, those kinds of thoughts do not cross my mind.

Last night I got to ease the loneliness and dread I feel every Sunday evening by going to the Adoration Chapel for an hour. I wondered what I had done to deserve so rich a privilege - to sit all alone with my Lord on a Sunday evening in a perfectly quiet chapel with no interruptions, no cell phones ringing and no chatterboxes. I realize there is nothing I can do in this life to merit such a reward, so it's better not to wonder about such things and just bask in His Presence. I have to say that I did not run out of people and causes to pray for and on the ride home, I thought of a few more I could have added.

I could not ask the Lord why and expect an answer, but I could pray for those who are struggling and for those who have been hurt by priests who have succumbed. I will do my part by praying more than I ever have. I hope the priests will do theirs by taking stock of how they are living and answering whether or not it's in conformity with Christ. In fact, it's not just the priests who need to do this but all of us, myself included.

5 comments:

JulieJune 20, 2011 at 11:12 AM
Joyce, you strike me as a very empathetic person.
I think that the closer one comes to Our Lord, the more he allows us to share in what He suffers when He views our world.
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CarolineJune 20, 2011 at 5:16 PM
I can tell you I feel much the same way Joyce..some days it's just overwhelming..Here in Florida the news is consumed with the Casey Anthony case..It's all so close to home..I'm watching because the defense has based it's case on charging the father with sexual abuse. If it's true I'll be very sad and if it's false I'll be really upset because each time someone cries 'wolf' on sexual abuse it not only takes away from the reality of what a true victim suffers but justice is mocked.
Not sure I have a post in me today with all the 'noise' out there this week !
God bless you...
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TLWJune 20, 2011 at 5:44 PM
Hi Julie. From an early age, I have seen the world in such a way that it's sometimes too much to bear. I hope to see the world as He does. More importantly, I hope the world sees Him in me.

Caroline, I hear you. This is why I always say it's a mistake to follow a priest, no matter how holy we think he is. We don't do them any favors by according them rock star status and we miss the point by becoming attached to a personality and not the message of the Gospel. Let's continue to pray for one another.

Peace to your hearts ladies :)
Joyce
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Kathy Felsted UsherJune 21, 2011 at 6:50 AM
This reminded me of you, it's from Mark Mallet's blog today . . .Message given through an apparition to Sr. Agnes Sasagawa of Akita, Japan, October 13th, 1973; approved in June of 1988. I see you affected by this in a great way.

"The thought of the loss of so many souls is the cause of my sadness."
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TLWJune 21, 2011 at 8:08 PM
Yes Kathy I have seen that quote from our Lady when I read about the apparitions at Akita. No one with a heart wants to see souls fall into hell.
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Mary, Queen of Peace

Ever glorious and blessed Mary, Queen of Virgins, Mother of Mercy, hope and comfort of dejected and desolate souls, through that sword of sorrow which pierced thy tender heart whilst thine only Son, Christ Jesus, our Lord, suffered death and ignominy on the cross; through that filial tenderness and pure love He had for thee, grieving in thy grief, whilst from His cross He recommended thee to the care and protection of His beloved disciple, St. John, take pity, I beseech thee, on my poverty and necessities; have compassion on my anxieties and cares; assist and comfort me in all my infirmities and miseries, of every kind whatsoever. Thou art the Mother of Mercies, the sweet comforter and only refuge of the needy and the orphan, of the desolate and afflicted. Cast, therefore, an eye of pity on a miserable, forlorn child of Eve, and hear my prayer; for since, in just punishment of my sins, I find myself encompassed by a multitude of evils, and oppressed with much anguish of spirit, wither can I fly for more secure shelter, O amiable Mother of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, than under the wings of thy maternal protection? Attend, therefore, I beseech thee, with an ear of pity and compassion, to my humble and earnest request. I ask it, through the bowels of mercy of thy dear Son; Through that love and condescension wherewith He embraced our nature, when, in compliance with the divine Will, thou gavest thy consent, and whom, after the expiration of nine months thou didst bring forth from the chaste enclosure of thy womb, to visit the world, and bless it with His presence. I ask it, through that anguish of mind wherewith thy beloved Son, our dear Saviour, was overwhelmed on the Mount of Olives, when He besought His eternal Father to remove from Him, if possible, the bitter chalice of His future passion. I ask it, through the threefold repetition of His prayers in the garden, whence afterwards, with dolorous steps and mournful tears, thou didst accompany Him to the doleful theatre of His death and sufferings. I ask it, through the welts and bruises of His virginal flesh, occasioned by the cords and whips wherewith He was bound and scourged, when stripped of His seamless garment, for which His executioners afterwards cast lots. I ask it, through the scoffs and ignominies by which He was insulted; the false accusations and unjust sentence by which He was condemned to death, and which He bore with heavenly patience. I ask it, through His bitter tears and bloody sweat; His silence and resignation; His sadness and grief of heart. I ask it, through the blood which trickled from His royal and Sacred Head, when struck with the sceptre of a reed and pierced with His crown of thorns. I ask it, through the excruciating torments He suffered, when His hands and feet were fastened with gross nails to the tree of the cross. I ask it, through His vehement thirst, and bitter potion of vinegar and gall. I ask it, through His dereliction on the cross when He exclaimed, "My God! my God! why hast Thou forsaken me?" I ask it, through His mercy extended to the good thief, and through His recommending His precious soul and spirit into the hands of His eternal Father before He expired, saying, "It is consummated." I ask it, through the blood mixed with water, which issued from His Sacred Side when pierced with a lance, and whence a flood of grace and mercy has flowed to us. I ask it, through His immaculate life, bitter passion and ignominious death on the cross, at which nature itself was thrown into convulsions, by the bursting of rocks, rending of the veil of the Temple, the earthquake, and the darkness of the sun and moon. I ask it, through His descent into hell, where He confronted the Saints of the old law with His presence, and led the captivity captive. I ask it, through His glorious victory over death, when He arose again to life on the third day, and through the joy which His appearance for forty days after gave thee, His blessed Mother, His Apostles, and the rest of His Disciples; when in thine and their presence He miraculously ascended into heaven. I ask it, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, infused into the hearts of His Disciples, when He descended upon them in the form of fiery tongues, and by which they were inspired with zeal in the conversion of the world, when they went to preach the gospel. I ask it, through the awful appearance of thy Son, at the last dreadful day, when He shall come to judge the living and the dead, and the world, by fire. I ask it, through the compassion He bore thee in His life, and the unspeakable joy thou didst feel at thine assumption into heaven, where thou art eternally absorbed in the sweet contemplation of His divine perfections. O glorious and ever blessed Virgin! comfort the heart of thy supplicant, by obtaining for me, (Mention your prayer intention here...) And as I am persuaded my Divine Saviour doth honour thee as His beloved Mother, to whom He refuses nothing, because thou asketh nothing contrary to His honour, so let me speedily experience the efficacy of thy powerful intercession, according to the tenderness of thy maternal affection, and His filial loving heart, who mercifully granteth the requests and complieth with the desires of those that love and fear Him. Wherefore, O most blessed Virgin, beside the object of my present petition, and whatever else I may stand in need of, obtain for me also of thy dear Son, our Lord and our God, a lively faith, firm hope, perfect charity, true contrition of heart, unfeigned tears of compunction, sincere confession, condign satisfaction, abstinence from sin, love of God and my neighbour, contempt of the world, patience to suffer affronts and ignominies, nay, even, if necessary, an opprobrious death itself, for love of thy Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ. Obtain likewise for me, O sacred Mother of God, perseverance in good works, performance of good resolutions, mortification of self-will, a pious conversation through life, and, at my last moments, strong and sincere repentance, accompanied by such a lively and attentive presence of mind, as may enable me to receive the last Sacrament of the Church worthily, and die in thy friendship and favour. Lastly, obtain through thy Son, I beseech thee, for the souls of my parents, brethren, relatives and benefactors, both living and dead, life everlasting, from the only Giver of every good and perfect gift, the Lord God Almighty, to Whom be all power now and forever. Amen.

Prayer of St. Bonaventure

Pierce, O most sweet Lord Jesus, my inmost soul with the most joyous and healthful wound of Thy love, and with true, calm and most holy apostolic charity, that my soul may ever languish and melt with entire love and longing for Thee, may yearn for Thee and for thy courts, may long to be dissolved and to be with Thee.
Grant that my soul may hunger after Thee, the Bread of Angels, the refreshment of holy souls, our daily and super substantial bread, having all sweetness and savor and every delightful taste.
May my heart ever hunger after and feed upon Thee, Whom the angels desire to look upon, and may my inmost soul be filled with the sweetness of Thy savor; may it ever thirst for Thee, the fountain of life, the fountain of wisdom and knowledge, the fountain of eternal light, the torrent of pleasure, the fullness of the house of God;
may it ever compass Thee, seek Thee, find Thee, run to Thee, come up to Thee, meditate on Thee, speak of Thee, and do all for the praise and glory of Thy name, with humility and discretion, with love and delight, with ease and affection, with perseverance to the end; and be Thou alone ever my hope, my entire confidence, my riches, my delight, my pleasure, my joy, my rest and tranquility, my peace, my sweetness, my food, my refreshment, my refuge, my help, my wisdom, my portion, my possession, my treasure; in Whom may my mind and my heart be ever fixed and firm and rooted immovably. Amen.

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The Unprofitable Servant

Monday, June 20, 2011

Overwhelming Sadness

5 comments:

Mary, Queen of Peace

St Michael the Archangel

St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi

St. Teresa Benedicta of The Cross