So I am in the midst of giving evaluations to a list of people that seems endless. I have no luck because I had just finished up nearly 50 evaluations at my former job before I left, and now less than 6 months later I have to evaluate another batch of people, some of whom I barely know. Each employee is required to complete a self-eval and I come across one with a simple comment that grabbed my attention.
"I am so blessed to work at this hospital with such a fine group of people".
When is the last time I used the words "blessed" and "work" in the same sentence?
The nurse who wrote this does not know that I know that she is seriously ill. She comes to work every day and has only missed two days of work since I've been there. She has a form of cancer that is rarely survivable and which involves a heavy dose of chemo. One day she appeared in my office out of the blue and pleaded with me to let her go home early because she didn't feel well. She didn't look well, but I chalked it up to a stomach virus. I wished her better health and sent on her way. This prompted one of the other nurses to confide me in about her illness. I figured if the nurse who is ill wanted me to know about it, she'd say something, so until she does, I say nothing to her. But we are all very protective of her.
Before I knew of the trial this woman was suffering, I remarked to her one day that unlike her colleagues, she never once complained to me. She is so kind and compassionate to all her patients and goes about her work quietly, never seeking accolades. If she has a problem, she solves it herself. If I had to be a patient, I'd want a nurse just like her to take care of me or a member of my family.
I have to say that I have not exactly looked upon my job as a blessing, and shame on me for that. It pays for the car that takes me to work and allows me to chauffeur my kids around. It pays for the medicine without which my youngest could not live. It pays for the service that allows me to write this blog and reach people as far away as Iran.
Here is this beautiful soul, ailing in body but not in spirit, battling a deadly disease and never once drawing attention to herself or her condition in any way.
Shame on me.